Friday, June 6, 2008

How do I know???


It all started a few weeks back when I came across a vocations magazine at my church library & took it home to look through. I felt like the Lord was telling me I can't put off these feelings anymore. So when I got home I read the whole thing cover to cover in one sitting (I'm amazed I could stay focused considering my attention span is that of a gnat!).

I remember looking at all the different profiles and being overwhelmed (can you be underwhelmed?) by all the communities. Here's just some of the choices that were listed:

Augustinian Nuns of Contemplative Life
Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration
Carmelite Sisters of St. Therese
Daughters of St Joseph (in contact with)
Franciscan Sisters of Our Lady of Perpetual Help
Good Shepherd Sisters
Holy Spirit Missionary Sisters
Little Sisters of the Poor
Maryknoll Sisters
Notre Dame Sisters
Oblate Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Precious Blood Sisters
Religious of the Sacred Heart of Mary
School Sisters of Notre Dame (in contact with)
Ursuline Sisters
Visitation Sisters
Wheaton Franciscans

...just to name a few!

How do I know where to start? Benedictine? Dominican? Franciscan? etc. It's all so confusing.

I did 'start' though...I went online to VocationMatch.com and went through their search program. From that it gave me over 60 possible matches. Next I read the details on each one and slowly, with much soul searching, narrowed down the choices to about 20! WOW! That is still soooooo many!

I've started to get emails & snail mail from many of them. I've also had some phone calls from some communities.

I'm sitting here totally overwhelmed and wondering how do I pick from all these amazing groups of women who are doing great things for the kingdom of God?

Then I started reading some different religious blogs and started to get scared...Maybe this isn't for me? Maybe I'm not really being called? I'm filled with fear & doubts after reading how difficult things have been for others going through this process.

Lord, thank you for the work you are doing in me. Thank you for all the blessings you have given me. I know that you have a plan (just wish you'd make it clearer) and I know I need to yield my life to you. Help me Lord to do that. Please help me to run to you & not away. Please help me to trust you more every day - with my entire life, not just parts of it. With the aid of the Holy Spirit please continue to show me those things that I do that cause you pain. My fervent desire is to please you Lord and to do your will, whatever that might be. Please, show me your way! ~Amen
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1 comment:

Kelly_SSJ said...

you have my prayers along the journey!