Celebration!

I had another lovely visit with Sister D out at the convent nearby. She's such a wonderful person. I'm excited that she invited me to this coming Tuesdays anniversary celebration at the Motherhouse. 107 yrs I believe she said. Many sisters are coming from all over the country to join in the festivities and they are having a special Mass at 10:30am followed by a dinner (lunch).

I plan on taking that day off - or at least 1/2 the day. So I'm hoping to attend. I just have to make sure my boss knows. He is use to me working 6 days a week, although he doesn't 'require' me too. But now, that I've cut back to a regular work week, he's been having to adjust. LOL He is super good about it, just throws him a little when I say, "oh, I won't be in that day, it's my day off"....he's not use to hearing "it's my day off" from me. Poor guy! lol

I'm really looking forward to the day. I'm also looking forward to the Come & See they are having August 1-3. I have already scheduled myself off for that - just told my boss I will be at a retreat. I'm not ready to tell him yet that I'm looking into this change in my vocation. Not sure how he'll react.

For now I'm finding that this time of prayer & reflection and deepening of my understanding of Church teaching has been so vital to my daily life. I really can tell the days that I've been more neglectful of my prayers & reading. Especially when I can't make daily mass - that's the worse!

Father, thank you so much for putting me in touch with supportive people who love you and serve you and who are helping me love you more. Thank you for my work that you have provided for me in order to meet my needs. Thank you for guiding me to an active church family who loves you deeply and seeks you daily....thank you for access to daily mass, weekly Eucharistic adoration, confession, and resources to help me draw closer to you. Father you have blessed me in so many ways, and I pray that I will come to recognize all your blessings each & every moment of my life and that I will not take you or them for granted. I ask for your continued guidance while I walk this path, through Jesus Christ, your Son, our beloved Lord. Amen.

Good Friends

This morning I'm just grateful that the Lord has given me such wonderful friends, in particular my best friend, S.

I was really hurting from a migraine Tuesday night and tried to reach S to take me to the ER. However she was out with her kids & got home late.

So I laid in bed, after taking massive quantities of ibuprofen throughout the evening and just couldn't get rid of the migraine. I've had them for over 20 yrs - let me tell you, they don't get any 'easier' to handle.

Around 2 am I finally decided to call her again - by this time I was just sobbing from the pain. I tried her home number twice but kept getting the answering machine. After a few minutes I thought to call her cell number (she later told me that the kids misplaced the handset for the phone she keeps in her room, and she was already in bed when she thought she better at least get her cell phone "just in case"). Luckily she answered.

I could barely talk at this point - it was the worse migraine I've ever had - bless her that she came out to get me & drove me into the ER about 25 minutes away.

She kept praying for me in the car -- boy if you ever need prayer - She is the one to go to! Prayer Warrior! I know that's an evangelical term - but she's wonderful - and it really helped me calm down.

I had to wait for a bit at the ER - but not too long. Thank the Lord! After two injections (one for pain, one for nausea) they had me wait about 20 minutes then released me.

I'm so grateful for having a friend like that. I'm so thankful to the Lord for bringing us together. I've grown so close to the family over the 10 yrs I've known them - I even work for her husband now (for the past few years) and I'm like an aunt to the kids. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! For they truly are a blessing to me - and not just when it's an emergency - but at all times.

I pray that each & everyone of you will have a friend like these - who love you regardless of your faults, unconditionally, and are Jesus 'with skin on'! Sometimes we all need that!

God Bless!

Busy Busy Busy

Well...it's been awhile since I wrote. The past several days have been very busy but oh so much fun! :)

Friday: Went to visit a local convent & meet with the vocation director. It was great! Meet a few of the older sisters and chatted with one for a bit. She was a dear! I can't wait to go back and visit. The Voc. Dir. gave me some materials to start going through and said she'd help me. She also encouraged me to meet with other groups so I can see the differences between them. I'm so thankful that she took that time to help me out.

After my meeting with her (3 hrs total to tour & visit) I went over to my church to help set up the silent auction for the church picnic. Met some very nice ladies & had a good time.

Saturday: Helped out a bit at the church picnic some more - mostly at the pork dinner - that was fun! Met even more people. Everyone was so nice in welcoming me to the parish. Although they did tease me & said if I didn't do a good job serving they would tell Father K to hold up my 'application'. LOL

Sunday: Was running late for 10am Mass so I went to another parish for their 10:30am Mass. It was nice. I then went over & ate lunch at the picnic then volunteered for awhile at the concession stand. Then I took a break, ate a little bit, then went to the church for some quiet time. I was there a little over an hour when I realized that I missed the deadline for the silent auction. So I hurried over to help out there like I had promised. I left around 6:45pm. Went home to my dog, Sasha, and had a nice quiet evening. I really enjoyed the whole day.

As for today - it's almost time to get to start work! I need to do a write-up for that employee we are having difficulty with. Please pray for me, I'm not looking forward to this afternoon. Unfortunately I woke with a migraine and I don't feel well at all. So I hope most of my day can be a quiet one.

Peace Everyone! Have a lovely day!

Bats in the Belfry!

Ok -- there was a bat! I swear there was!

I came into church at about 8:15am to pray & I got dive-bombed by this 'swoopy' thing. At first I thought it was a bird, then I realized it was a bat.

I quickly departed...LOL

I tried calling the church office but kept getting a busy signal...after about 10 minutes I got through. In the mean time I kept a close eye on that bat. I was not happy when he roosted on the statue of our Blessed Mother...but if she's like St. Francis, then I'm sure she forgives it. Poor little (actually big!) thing must have been scared.

Anyway...in come the two seminarians to 'capture' the bat....but since one of them was carrying a baseball bat with him, I wasn't so sure they meant to do a 'live capture'.

Of course, this is the moment the bat decided to disappear. It must have known it's days where numbered! Personally I can't blame the poor thing.

Now I have to give a nod to one of the lads who actually genuflected at the altar before searching for the bat. I was too distracted to do that.

So in the last few days I've dealt with a stray bird and a bat...I wonder what's next? hmmmm...

St George & my dragon

Lord, as this day draws to a close, I wish to thank you for the many blessing you gave me, especially for the gift of time with you this morning. Thank you also for answered prayers. I ask for your continued help in strengthening me Lord, especially when I am brought before others who deny you or say untrue things about your church. Please guide me Holy Spirit, give me the words to say, and help me in my studies to draw ever closer to the Lord. Dearest Jesus, thank you for dying for my sins. I am so sorry for the pains I have caused you. Please help me to be ever conscious of all that I do and may it all be pleasing to your most Sacred Heart. All glory & honor & praise, Father, Son & Holy Spirit, for evermore! Amen

Dear St. George, help me to be a defender of the Faith as you were...please pray to me to the Lord, our God. Amen <><

Funny thing happened on the way to Confession...

...I caught myself smiling.

Yesterday I left after work to go meet someone to take the little sparrow I found with the broken wing. I had to drive about 1/2 an hour away.

As I was coming back, heading to church, I found myself smiling & looking forward to going into confession. WOW! That's the first time for me ~ to feel that way. How wonderful is it that we can go to reconciliation and receive absolution & guidance to help us draw closer to Christ.

Please don't take my smiling to mean I wasn't sorry for my sins...I was & am. It's just knowing I have someone to share my struggles with, who can guide me, and who understands my desire to be closer to Christ in all I say & do...that is an amazing gift from Jesus and I'm so thankful he gave it to us.

I use to think that going to confession wasn't necessary - that 'no mere man' could forgive my sins...but only God could. Now that I have a much better understanding of this sacrament I am so grateful I have the opportunity to go & receive it.

Dearest Jesus, I thank you for the sacrament of reconciliation that you established through your apostles. Thank you for recognizing our human needs to confess & receive absolution and for providing us a way to draw closer to you. Lord Jesus, please bless all our priests who participate in this sacrament by welcoming us into a deeper communion with you. Please watch over & protect them. Holy Spirit, please give them wisdom and discernment when listening to confessions so that they may help others become more like Jesus. Heavenly Father, I thank you for our Christian brothers who have answered your call to the priesthood. Please continue to poor out your blessings upon them. Please send your Spirit to draw others to the priesthood and other religious vocations. Help all of us Lord that are in the process of discerning your will in our lives. Please give us wisdom and send someone to help guide us on this journey. Thank you Father for always answering our prayers, even when the answer is 'no'. I submit myself to your will, oh Lord, and humbly ask for your blessings upon me as well. Praise be to you Lord God! Amen.
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Dog & Cat Diary

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
Dear Diary,
• 6:00 AM: At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
• 8:00 AM: Dog food! My favorite thing!
• 9:30 AM: A car ride! My favorite thing!
• 9:40 AM: A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
• 10:30 AM: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
• 12:00 PM: Lunch! My favorite thing!
• 1:00 PM: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
• 3:00 PM: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
• 5:00 PM: Milk bones! My favorite thing!
• 6:00 PM: They're home! My favorite thing!
• 7:00 PM: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
• 8:00 PM: Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
• 11:00 PM: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

• Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
• Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!
• There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
• Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.
• I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released—and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

I found this on another blog...and they stated that it came to them in an email without reference to who created this. So I'm sorry I can't tell you the source. All I know is I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. "Day 983 of my captivity"............LOL!

PS: the dog is my husky/lab ~ Sasha :) I rescued her from a shelter when she was about 4 months old -- she's 2 yrs old now. My little sweetie - so much fun & loves to cuddle.
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Employee Problems

Disclaimer: The following is just how I process my thoughts & emotions...only meant to reflect what I was feeling at the moment, and not necessarily how I always feel...........

Well...I have to cover the store today...so that makes 6 days in a row. Ok - I know I'm whining - please bear with me...I just need to let it out: I'm tired of not having time off, of being expected to handle everything at the stores, of employees not being disciplined when they do things wrong...especially tired of that.

Once again the 'employee' is sick. And he did not call me by 7:30 am, like I told him to, so that I would know if I had to get up. Instead when my alarm went off at 7:30 am, I got up, played a bit with my dog...then waited a few minutes. When I didn't get a call from him I tried calling him myself - two times, 10 minutes apart. He never answered. Instead of risking no one being at the store I got up & got ready to leave.

He finally called...at 8:24am, when I was walking out to my car to go to the store. He said he slept though his alarm. I asked it he was coming in and he replied "I really don't want to...", to which I bit back my retort that "well - neither do I but it looks like I am". Again - I didn't say that -- but oh how I wanted to! I know I can be sarcastic at times - but usually I keep those thoughts to myself - I pray that with the Lord's help I will stop even thinking like that -- it really doesn't do me any good.

This is by far the hardest job I've had. I oversee our 3 cell stores - and that means I do almost everything to keep them running. However, my boss (the owner), whom I've worked for for over 3 years, and known for about 10, wants to be the 'authority' figure when it comes to employee issues. I have a big problem with this - mostly because he doesn't address the issues & I am the one who has to deal with the employees daily, including correcting their mistakes & dealing with customer complaints. Most of those mistakes & complaints come from this very same employee who has now been sick for the past two days.

I've worked hard at training him. I've provided him with every tool I can think of. I've gone over his past mistakes with him & showed him how he should have done things. I've continuously told him to contact me if he has any questions. I've complimented him when he did well and tried to encourage him when ever I had to correct some issue.

What else do I do??? It seems my boss thinks this employee is awesome - but while at first he seemed to be, really went after getting people into the stores, etc, since the second month he has been with us he hasn't done much of anything.

He continually ignores emails, is asking to leave early for personal activities, disregards company policies (nothing major - just the 'little ones')....I would so appreciate any advice that anyone can give me -- especially anyone with HR experience.

In my mind what we (company) should do is (and we haven't because I don't have time to do my part of the job):

Start documenting every problem
Have a review with him (I could do a 6 month review for the 1st year - then yearly after that -- we currently have no policy on reviews)
Provide him with Job Description
And follow a set procedure for corrections when necessary (verbal, written, etc)

A major problem is, we are a start up company, and as such, my boss can not afford the number of employees he should have, so that I, as the Ops Director can do what I need to do. I'm salary, and expected to work 5 days a week....instead I put in 6 day weeks - and over 60 hrs.

Matter of fact - I'm at work now, but taking a break (which I don't typically do). I'm hoping my boss will be stopping by today because I really need to talk to him about these issues. I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed with what I need to do. And I feel that I have no support.

Please don't get me wrong....I do like my job...I just needed to 'journal' all this out. It helps my thought process...it lets me get all the 'bad out' of myself...so I can then pray & ask the Lord to help me.

WHEW! -- Ok - I'm feeling better -- thanks for allowing me to gripe a bit. I don't know about you but I find that getting 'it all out' on paper (or a blog) helps me tremendously.

Lord ~ Thank you for all you bless me with, my work, friends, family, and the many other blessings. Thank you for providing me with a job where I can use the talents you have given to me. Thank you for putting people in my life that have helped me grow into a better employee. Lord I ask for your help ~ please send your Holy Spirit to give me wisdom & guidance in dealing with those you have placed under me at work -- help me Father to not abuse my position, but to use it to help them grow into better employees, and to help them succeed in their work. Help me to be a light to them, just as those many other people were there for me. Lord you are so loving and so forgiving...please help me to be the same way. I'm ashamed when I hold grudges against others, or get angry with them because they don't do something I think they should, please Lord, change my heart into a loving one and help me to be a servant leader to them Lord. Help me, through your Son, to love them, just as you love them. Thank you Father for hearing my requests. I ask the most Blessed Mother & all the angels & saints to pray for me to the Lord, my God. ~ Amen

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Employee Issue

This morning an employee called me, sick - so he wasn't in today. Then right when we were closing for the day he called me to let me know he's still not feeling well - but, he's not going to say he won't be in.................so I asked him to please call me before 7:30am and let me know if he's coming into work.

Is it a sin to pray that he does???? You see, I do the schedule, and I had scheduled myself off this weekend & next (primarily because I've worked almost every Saturday since the stores opened in December). Well, if he calls in sick again, guess who has to cover? Yup - moi!

Suddenly I feel very very tired.

In all seriousness, I want to thank the Lord for helping me today while I was training the new employees. I couldn't have done it without Him!

God Bless you all - have a wonderful night (or day as the case may be)!
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How do I know???

It all started a few weeks back when I came across a vocations magazine at my church library & took it home to look through. I felt like the Lord was telling me I can't put off these feelings anymore. So when I got home I read the whole thing cover to cover in one sitting (I'm amazed I could stay focused considering my attention span is that of a gnat!).

I remember looking at all the different profiles and being overwhelmed (can you be underwhelmed?) by all the communities. Here's just some of the choices that were listed:

Augustinian Nuns of Contemplative Life
Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration
Carmelite Sisters of St. Therese
Daughters of St Joseph (in contact with)
Franciscan Sisters of Our Lady of Perpetual Help
Good Shepherd Sisters
Holy Spirit Missionary Sisters
Little Sisters of the Poor
Maryknoll Sisters
Notre Dame Sisters
Oblate Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Precious Blood Sisters
Religious of the Sacred Heart of Mary
School Sisters of Notre Dame (in contact with)
Ursuline Sisters
Visitation Sisters
Wheaton Franciscans

...just to name a few!

How do I know where to start? Benedictine? Dominican? Franciscan? etc. It's all so confusing.

I did 'start' though...I went online to VocationMatch.com and went through their search program. From that it gave me over 60 possible matches. Next I read the details on each one and slowly, with much soul searching, narrowed down the choices to about 20! WOW! That is still soooooo many!

I've started to get emails & snail mail from many of them. I've also had some phone calls from some communities.

I'm sitting here totally overwhelmed and wondering how do I pick from all these amazing groups of women who are doing great things for the kingdom of God?

Then I started reading some different religious blogs and started to get scared...Maybe this isn't for me? Maybe I'm not really being called? I'm filled with fear & doubts after reading how difficult things have been for others going through this process.

Lord, thank you for the work you are doing in me. Thank you for all the blessings you have given me. I know that you have a plan (just wish you'd make it clearer) and I know I need to yield my life to you. Help me Lord to do that. Please help me to run to you & not away. Please help me to trust you more every day - with my entire life, not just parts of it. With the aid of the Holy Spirit please continue to show me those things that I do that cause you pain. My fervent desire is to please you Lord and to do your will, whatever that might be. Please, show me your way! ~Amen
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Morning Rush and other ramblings

In the past I was always rushing around in the morning...usually trying to get ready for work. I'd awake with thoughts of what had to be done that day..."Do I need to order supplies? Are my reports done? Don't forget to call..." Not surprisingly I would forget to start my day with prayer and would find that it would be chaotic and unfocused, and I'd struggle to accomplish my tasks.

Thankfully I have seen the errors of my ways and recently (within the last 3-4 weeks) I have purpose-fully gone to bed early, spent quiet time with the Lord, and then when I awake (earlier these days) I again have my quiet time.

I have found this re-arrangement of my schedule has enabled me to attend daily Mass now. And I am so grateful! I feel as if being able to receive Christ each day has strengthened me and helped me to grow as a woman of faith.

I have soooooooooo far to go on this journey...but I thank the Lord for being a lamp unto my feet.

As for this week...

Monday I had a special visit! After mass I headed to work (early) & sat in the back office relaxing & cruising the web until it was almost opening time.

The store manager came in & brought his 8 yr old twin daughters with him. They were going to hang out with Dad for a little bit while Mom did some shopping. Well, as it ended up, he needed to go with his wife to an appointment, if that was ok with me, and I said yes - then suggested he leave the two girls with me so that they wouldn't be a distraction to him & his wife when they went to their appointment.

Well, I must say, I had an absolutely delightful time! I almost forgot how much I love being around kids & interacting with them. I had so much fun - and they seemed to have fun too.

Once Dad & Mom came back I made it a point to tell them I'm available to babysit, as I live two blocks from them.

I'm so glad that the Lord gave me time with those two little blessings that day...it really helped me to relax & look at things a little differently.

The rest of the day went very well and I accomplished a lot (re-organized all the office files & gave the manager some additional training).

Tuesday...I had to travel to another store to cover (was the regular persons day off) - 1 hr 15 mins one way! Eeeeek! Can we say "that's a lot of gas"? I'm fortunate my boss will be reimbursing me for my travel. I didn't feel like a got a lot accomplished on Tuesday - mostly spent the day dealing with little problems that crept up.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I started training two new employees. They are actually to high school graduates that I know from my volunteer work with the local high school football team. I had a lot of fun training them and the day sped by! I always love that!

Today they both surprised me by remembering many things we covered from yesterday -- yes people, it's not easy to sell cell phones - you actually have to learn many things. :)

We had another good day and tomorrow, hopefully, I can finish up their training.

One thing I'm praying about for tomorrow is for the Lord to give my patience, understanding, and wisdom as I will be working with one of our salespeople who I haven't been able to spend much time with in the last two months, and unfortunately he's been making a lot of mistakes - some costly ones too. I've had a hard time dealing with him in the past. He would always avoid coming to me (because usually I turned down his requests) and would go instead to the store owner. He also would ignore any tasks I'd assign him and not respond to emails.

Needless to say it's been a frustrating couple of months, as my boss thinks this employee is AWESOME, and I have to spend time explaining to my boss that he isn't and we need to start holding him accountable for not following procedures. Well....as I said, I need to pray for patience, understanding & wisdom.

I have noticed that lately, since going to daily mass & spending much more time in prayer, the Lord has helped me approach the situation better and it is improving. I'm trying to take the approach of training the employee better (as he didn't get much) and reviewing the policies with him so he fully understands his responsibilities & expectations. I do hope this will improve his work habits.

Well, for now, I'm winding down for the day, blogging this...then I plan on doing some reading (Stephen Ray's book, Upon This Rock -- all I can say is "WOW"), then some quiet time for prayer...then nighty night! lol

I really enjoy my evenings much more now that I'm in the habit of doing a little studying and then reading God's word, then praying before bed. So much better than watching the TV these days. I can't even remember the last time I turned on my TV...must be about a week or so...

Which leads me to believe I really don't need that special converter box from the government because I hardly watch TV anyways...oooooo -- I just saved myself some $$$! This HAS been a good day! LOL

Time for me to take my little blessing out for her evening "break", lest she take 'one' in the house, if you know what I mean. :))

Take care all...Thanks for stopping by to read my ramblings! I'll say a prayer for you too :)

May the good Lord bless you & keep you, and make His face shine upon you!

Blessings & Peace to you & yours!

Personal Prayer: Thank you for the blessings of this day, for your love, and for taking pity on me, a sinner, and coming after me, your little lost sheep. I desire to love you more each & every day. Make me less like this world and more like you. Lord, help me today to prioritize. By your Holy Spirit, guide me and lead me, in all that I do, say, and think. Remind me Lord that I can do all things through you, who gives me strength. Lord, when I start to get frazzled & caught up in the busyness of this day, please quiet my soul, and help me seek you. Thank you Lord for hearing & answering my prayer. Amen.

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Discernment

I’m starting this blog as a way to help me to discern where the Lord is calling me…into a religious community…or as a lay person. I’m really not certain at this point and I’m just beginning the process of searching.

Perhaps I shouldn’t say ‘beginning’, as I have felt drawn to this kind of life off & on over the years.

I have found that recording my thoughts & reflections helps me to discern what God is saying to me. I hope this will be true using this blog.

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